Attorney at Law

No one plans for their marriage to end. However, according to the American Psychological Association, almost 50% of all marriages in the United States end in divorce. In second or subsequent marriages, the divorce rate is even higher. 

It is important to pay attention to the key warning signs that show you might be headed towards a divorce. So, take a look at the following issues that may indicate your marriage has ended and it may be the right time to consider a divorce.

1. Lack of respect

It is totally normal for you and your partner not to agree on everything. Despite your disagreements, respect is fundamental in a marriage. Regardless of whether you agree with your spouse, respecting his or her values and choices is extremely important. The absence of respect can lead to a divorce.

2. You do not consider your spouse in your future plans

Try to imagine what your life would look like 10 to 15 years down the line. If you don’t see yourself living life with your partner by your side, it might be a good time to part ways. You may be on different life paths, which is completely understandable, but it may indicate you don’t belong together anymore.

3. You aren’t friends anymore

Strong relationships often share a close friendship in addition to their romantic connection. Aside from physical intimacy and love, couples should be able to have fun together and enjoy being in each other’s presence. If you no longer look at your spouse as a close friend and find yourself making excuses not to spend time with them, your marriage may be at risk of divorce.

4. Feelings of isolation

Your wife or husband should feel like your life partner that you can turn to for love and support. If you start to feel isolated or lonely within your marriage, it could be a sign that the intimacy and connection between you two has dissolved. These feelings of isolation can eventually lead to even more marital problems, since one may not be inclined to put effort into a relationship that makes him or her feel lonely.

5. There is abuse

Physical, emotional, and sexual abuse in a marriage are all major red flags that should not be tolerated. If your spouse has harmed you intentionally, it is time to walk away from your marriage. Acts of domestic violence shouldn't be tolerated, and even threats of abuse or violence place both you and your children at risk of serious harm.

6. You don’t get along since your kids moved out

You and your spouse should want to be together because you love each other; not simply because you have kids together. Many couples do not realize they aren't right for each other until their kids move out, and then they get divorced. If you and your partner don’t want to be around each other ever since your kids grew up and left the house, this might indicate that your children were the only thing keeping you together.

7. You disagree about having children

It is true that marriage is all about compromise, but there are a few things you should never give up on. It is very difficult to see a future for a marriage where one spouse is passionate about having children but the other is categorically against it. In these situations, divorce may be the best option.

8. Lack of sexual intimacy

A healthy sex life is an important part of a happy marriage. Your body releases oxytocin when you engage in sexual activity, which enhances feelings of love and eases stress. While it is normal for your sex life to ebb and flow in a marriage, complete lack of sexual intimacy can ruin a marriage. You may want to consider separation if you are disgusted by the idea of engaging in sexual activity with your partner or feel unattracted to your spouse.

9. You can imagine you or your spouse in another relationship

When you’re in love with someone, the thought of them dating other people can be heartbreaking. However, if you are in an unhappy marriage, you may be able to picture you or your spouse with another man or woman without thinking twice about it. Fantasizing about you or your partner with being with someone new might be a sign that you want to break up with your partner and go your separate ways.

10. You have more negative interactions than positive ones

As you evaluate your marriage, try to notice both how strong and how frequent your negative interactions are. According to marriage counselor Racheal Tasker, "The magic ratio in any happy relationship is five positive interactions for every one negative interaction.” If you seem to be having significantly more negative interactions than positive ones, you may be on the verge of a break-up. 

11. There’s infidelity

Sharing intimacy with someone other than your spouse can be a sign that something isn't right in your marriage. Although a marriage may be able to survive an affair in rare situations, most cases of infidelity lead to a serious breach of trust. The trust within the marriage can be impossible to restore, which eventually results in divorce.

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